Weird…
According to the Bible no man, no angel, not even Jesus Christ himself knows when the rapture will be…
Huge fan of whoever convinced them to blame it on trump not releasing the Epstein files tho.
Which is strange, because Jesus is God and God is all knowing…
Also what disguy was saying of course.
There’s no such mention of the rapture at all in the Bible. It was invented in the 19th century.
It was invented to distract us from the Trump/Epstein files
“Life was filled with guns and war,” the song begins, “and everyone got trampled on the floor. I wish we’d all been ready.”
Wow, sounds like we’re already living it today…
Esoterica channel on YT is a bit over halfway through a lecture series on Merkavah, that talks about apocalypse predictions and the language used and why (which by extrapolation applies to occult topics and language used).
What about the 12000 from each of the 12 tribes?
“Clearly, when he wrote with his own hand that no man would know the day or the hour, the Lord wasn’t counting on a genius like me coming along.”
- a whole shitload of different preachers
Joking aside, how do whole congregations avoid seeing the narcissism on some of these motherfuckers?
The ones that could self selected out. (Or were kicked out.)
JE is very much alive, whilst some of the victims are not.
August 9, 2019 Jeffrey Epstein (Jewish) is reported dead, released in July 2025, the Federal Bureau of Prisons release an 11 hour surveillance video of Jeffrey Epstein’s upper atrium corridor, except it contains this sudden cut and minute removed from it. The footage has been transformed on the X axis and scaled about 3.5% on X axis so, again, there’s no way to check frame by frame for repeat use frames.
The United States Department of Justice (DOJ) release the 11 hour prison surveillance in two modified versions :
https://www.justice.gov/video-files/video1.mp4 https://www.justice.gov/video-files/video2.mp4
The video at 11:21:34pm shows a mouse cursor moving over the released footage, which signifies this is not RAW video 'source footage’, the purest form of footage captured by the camera sensor. The FBI released a doctored version, through a video editing program. The timestamp at the beginning is 7:40:00pm and the last timestamp is 6:40:00am, but the video is 10:52:23 in length, meaning there’s almost 7.5 minutes missing, not just this one minute, which is seen in the cut. The initial report tells us that Jeffrey Epstein (Jewish) was allowed to make an unscheduled, unrecorded phone call (unmonitored) to Epstein’s mother (who was dead in 2004). Using a non inmate telephone system line to a local 646 area code, at 6:58pm, contrary to BOP policy but with the permission of a Unit Manager, which lasted until 7:19pm then Epstein was taken back to his cell, without a cellmate. Whose DNA is on the ligature, as the bodies are not identical? A double was placed in his cell. Was the FBI able to get any information from the jail cell’s video and hall video? The photograph of the body being wheeled out, which is clearly not Jeffrey Epstein medics attempted intubation, on a already establish dead corpse, purposely to conceal paparazzi photographs of the head. Intubation is a process where a healthcare provider inserts a tube through a person’s mouth or nose, then down into their trachea (airway/windpipe) Was the FBI able to get any information from the jail cell’s video and hall video? Did the FBI interview any of the inmates? Did they interview any of the guards who were allegedly asleep? Were both guards drugged to simultaneously sleep? Rigor mortis is a postmortem change of taphonomic alterations, resulting in the stiffening of the body muscles due to chemical changes in their myofibrils. Rigor mortis helps in estimating the time since death as well to ascertain if the body had been moved after death What the authorities claim as “lack of evidence” is infact “the evidence” of : August 10th 2019 the event was not dealt with as a crime scene, required under legal process The “malfunction” of two cameras in front of the prison cell containing Epstein, which shows Epsteins death was feigned Epstein was supposed to be inspected every 30 minutes, this was not followed The two guards assigned to check Epstein’s cell overnight, Noel and Michael Thomas, both simultaneously fell asleep at their desk At least some of the security cameras in the wing were not operating
https://www.printernational.co.uk/timmann2/history.htm#epstein
“With God all things are possible… Except the Epstein files, even God can’t help you there.”
I just realized…GOD is in the Epstein Files. Oh, it all makes so much sense now!
It all started with the virgin Mary, then God couldn’t help himself and created Epstein so he didn’t feel so alone in His diddling!
When Jesus said “suffer the children come unto me” that’s not what he was talking about
-Carlin
It was sick when he said it, and it still is.
What if the rapture did happen but none of them were worthy?
Oh, please no. I so desperately want humanity (and the planet) to be rid of these people.
Then the muslims take their place
Bro is totally not racist and brings up Muslim faith unannounced, fucking weirdo
People of any race can be Muslim. When someone says “Christians are all crazy” do we say that they’re racist towards white people just because the majority of Christians are white?
So then why is it that when someone implies that Muslims are all crazy we assume that that is racism at work?
And it’s not exactly a random thing to bring up. Rapture is supposedly going to apply to Christians so even if it did happen, theoretically the Muslims would be left behind, and so in the context of the comic posted that says all the religious wackos are gone, he’s pointing out that they wouldn’t all be gone.
I’m lost on what is racist about this. Could you please explain?
We are used to him in the UK communities. He’s a well known prat.
That’s not a very nice thing to say ☹️
What has Islam got to do with Race? I’m just saying that getting rid of Christians won’t make the earth into an atheist haven. Islam will logically take it’s place as it’s the second biggest religion.
The hell has this got to do with race???
Hang on lads, I’ve got an idea.
The all new Rapture Drink, now Kool-Aid flavored!
send them all to mars!
Or what if the rapture happened and the only creature deemed to fit the criteria was a single highly surprised but very chill about it capybara?
Specifically this dude:
Wow, covid was an extremely shitty rapture.
Even with god’s chosen president doing everything he could to get more people up to heaven…
explains a lot tbh.
You know what? Sure. As long as they have a reason to release the files I’m down to support it.
I think if this idea were seeded into the Facebook frenzy that would have been diabolical
If only prayer worked. I bet we could get a lot of people to ask God to take all his people ASAP even if we never get to see the Epstein file. The world would be a better place.
Theyre not going to be in the rolls anyway
What if they gave a rapture and nobody left?
What if the rapture happened and the only thing that dissapeared were the Epstein files?
Oh God, don’t even give them any ideas. I’m already worried with all this symbolism trying to make Charlie Kirk into Jesus they’re going to try and claim he was resurrected at some point.
“This was all part of God’s plan.”
Dang they truly believe US is the center of the world. Is absolutely baffling.
Sure, okay, whatever, just release the Epstein Files. I’m not religious, like at all, but if that’s what it takes, I’m fine with it.
It is so utterly insane that so many humans that I share this planet with are basically in a doomsday cult, and what really gets me is that you’re considered an asshole or an extremist if you ever say something like “I hate the doomsday cult and the people in the doomsday cult are stupid”. You get called intolerant etc etc. You’re damn right I’m intolerant of a bunch of morons who have literally no incentive to care about the long-term well being of our planet and species. Just because the doomsday cultists happen to share the same name for their beliefs as people who are substantially less insane than them does not mean that they get a pass on being insane or that they get to be entitled to the same degree of respect that their less insane counterparts are entitled to.
I’m tempted to say well, at least they also want the Epstein files to be released. But the people with this type of mentality are just going to sit around waiting for some literal miracle to take place to release the files, because they believe in miracles and that’s not an irrational plan of action as far as they’re concerned.
I hate the doomsday cult and the people in the doomsday cult are stupid
By “doomsday cult”, do you mean the very specific subset of Christians that follow the rapture conspiracy theory or all Christians? Because one of those answers is fun and games and the other actually does mean you’re an asshole, extremist and intolerant.
Just because the doomsday cultists happen to share the same name for their beliefs as people who are substantially less insane than them
Yes, the other Christians are who I am referring to here. Although I do believe that the fundamental way of religious thinking (belief contrary to logic) does inevitably degrade into the behavior of the doomsday cult, in the same way that a seed inevitably becomes a plant given the conditions that it latently seeks out. So while I do not hate your everyday type Christian, I do think it is important not to create the conditions that they seek out, as that will result in a hate-worthy entity before long. The particular conditions, I believe, are an environment where they cannot be questioned, an environment where logical thinking is not valued, an unequal ability to disperse their beliefs while others cannot, etc. Given those conditions, harmless beliefs will expand to become harmful beliefs in the same way a liquid conforms to whatever container you put it in. This goes for any kind of belief, not just religious ones. But religion is a smart enough meme to encode the importance of creating that environment as part of its core values, which makes it a belief that is at especially greater risk of degrading into harmful behavior. This much is undeniable, as you hardly ever see people getting in doomsday cults over their favorite type of cheese or other non-religious beliefs.
So no, I don’t mean all Christians, but in the same way that all Christians think I deserve to go to hell in my current state but may still treat me with kindness in hopes of what I may become, I believe all Christians deserve to be treated with suspicion and wariness in their current state in hopes of what they may NOT become. All things considered, I think it’s a pretty de-escalating stance for me to take.
its not just christians that are disappointed TBH. I was really kinda hoping they were right this time…
A world without Christians?! Sign me in!
Every time the rapture doesn’t happen they seem more convinced that it will happen in the future.
I really should get into the property market around the time the next rapture announcement comes out because surely they’ll be selling all their houses off right. If you timed it right you could go on a really expensive holiday and save money by not paying for a return flight.
Every time the rapture doesn’t happen they seem more convinced that it will happen in the future.
That has to be some sort of Logical Fallacy. If the rapture hasn’t happened yet, then it stands to reason that it must happen in the future. That part isn’t in doubt, it’s the actual date that is controversial.
I mean, assuming you believe the rapture is real in the first place. You have to make that illogical leap first.
It’s like a variant on the Gamblers fallacy. They believe there’s a chance, and so every failure means a success is closer
It sounds so stupid when you break it down like that.
And yet the gambler’s fallacy hits pretty hard to a lot of people. I know I struggle with it. We as a species tend to organize our world in the form of narrative and intents. Randomness kinda fucks with us in that regard.
That said, the rapture part is stupid. But there’s also more to it. When Prophecy Fails is a famous book on the topic
What? But the rapture was last night, didn’t anyone tell them?
“Oh, it was last night, and YOU are still here? Sorry, buddy, that sucks. Well, not for me, I wasn’t expecting it. I’m just happy that we’ll have fewer arrogant self-righteous Karens.”
They are more convinced. “When prophecy fails” was first published in 1956, it’s well documented.
I think I saw someone selling “rapture insurance” a while a go. Iirc they pay a one time fee to get on a registry and they would go around and collect pets that didn’t get raptured with their owners.
That sounds like a nice little grift to get into. Usually I have to reject these ideas because I have a moral compass, but I might be able to ignore it to fleece gullible MAGA religious freaks. I don’t mind separating the money from racist, pedophile traitors.
Why make it a grift? Start reaching out to them to check in after each rapture prediction, and you can get word-of-mouth business!
Don’t forget the annual renewal fee, by automatic withdrawal. Make it expensive, and do it just before Christmas.
It’s the only possible explanation!
Fundies think they can force God to do something.
If God existed, he’d be smacking them down hard for this level of arrogance.
