Hmmmmm. Hey guys! It’ll be really easy to steal things from this guys house on black Friday. All you gotta do is be quiet. He’s going to eat himself into a coma on Thanksgiving!!!
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Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: May 7th, 2024
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3·6 hours agoblushes
You guuuyyysssss!!!
Schwäbisch Hall,
What did you call me???
Sorry, that was me. Your flesh just looked delicious, and I thought “Well, I COULD go for some tasty drinking of the blood of the innocent…”
You just wouldn’t be as tasty if you had murdered someone and were guilty.
You know…you didn’t have to say that! Now I’m hungry for, and excited to try a pizza edible that doesn’t exist!
Great. Now I’m hungry AND sober…
Ah yes. I forgot the news, and reality has taken a “Who’s Line is it Anyways?” approach to interpreting reality. Everythings made up, and the points don’t matter.
Were they jumping on the bed?
Nothing some fire can’t solve!
6·4 days agoDon’t worry. They cost twice as much now.
Or, ya know…all signs pointing to 2028.
Sometimes the onion isn’t even parody at this point. It’s still absurd. It’s just also reality.
"Ok, great performance out there. Calling me a chicken fucker. The employees moral is up, which should translate into better work.
Now, who was the one who hired you?"
“They didn’t reveal their identity. I just got an email from EXPLOSIVEDIARREACHICKENFUCKER@aol.com”
No you don’t! You can’t make me!!! I’LL NEVER LEARN!!!
continues being American
Do you have cheesy bacon tots?
No no no. You drank 4 bottles of tequilla! Thats not the same thing. Also, stop walking on the ceiling!
remembers the holocaust
Oh, hey, I’ve seen this one! Wait, they moved Auschwitz to Texas? Oh, maybe this is the sequal.
You say this like conssrvatives would even grasp the facts that they did this. You’re talking about the same group who claims to live their life based on the teachings of Jesus, who cared for all, even the misfortunate. Then they turn around and cheer the dismantling of snap and medicaid with zero irony that it’s what Jesus would want.
When they did a scan of my colon, they found I had pollips. Thats how we discovered I have cancer.
Then they cut the pollips off. I imagine that left a hole in the pollip area.
How about colon pollip hole?
FTFY