A year ago I broke up with my gf of 8 years after finding out she cheated on me and had been for a long time.
I quite literally have zero friends remaining at this point. Every single mutual friend has stayed friends with her and completely ghosted me. I can only suspect I’ve been slandered and that’s why nobody wants anything to do with me anymore. I tried going to local shows as that was my community but it’s completely sucked the fun out of things because it’s a small city and there’s always eyes on me from different corners of the room like I’ve done something wrong and I don’t feel welcome anymore. So I’ve just stopped attending concerts which used to be my safe space. Standing by myself watching the band while people stare a hole in the side of my head isn’t exactly enjoyable.
My lived experience has now taught me that 90% of people are cheaters, liars, and thieves, and while I know that’s not reality, it’s fundamentally changed the way I approach friendships. I don’t open up to people anymore because I don’t trust anyone anymore.
I don’t think or care about my ex but the friends who ghosted me still cause daily intrusive thoughts. I don’t know why I’ve been abandoned. No closure and no way to defend myself. I never expected how much more it hurts to lose friends than it does to lose a partner.
I miss my friends but they’ve proven they don’t care about me so when they inevitably reach out to me there’s no way I’ll be able to forgive.
Probably I need to go back to therapy again but just curious if anyone has experienced similar.
Is the breakup and ending of friendships related to the rape accusations levied against you that you posted about 20 days ago?
https://lemmy.ca/comment/23387798
Burying the lede there a bit if that’s the fuller context to your situation.
Edit: I’m not saying I think you’re a rapist. I don’t have enough information to formulate an opinion responsibly. I’m pointing out your former friends seem to have that perception, so that might contribute to you feeling like they’re all staring a hole into the side of your head.
I’m going to apply a user tag and stop engaging now. Arguing with me is not where you need to spend your energy, nor I with you.
Yeah, raping someone would justifiably make someone lose all their friends.
Being accused of something is fully different than actually having done it. Just because somebody accuses you of something doesn’t mean it’s automatic that you are guilty. In the comment that was linked, he literally said somebody falsely accused him. So I have to ask you how do you know that he’s actually guilty?