I’ve noticed that there seems to be an emphasis on being extremely serious at all times, as if every single comment is a PhD dissertation being evaluated or something. There’s like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental. It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?

  • Banana@sh.itjust.works
    1·
    8 days ago

    Gotta agree with you here Velma. The beauty of Lemmy isn’t that it attracts or allows different people, but that we aren’t advertised to, and we are able to block instances or communities that don’t work for us, and we are able to fully curate our home pages without being shown posts from completely unrelated pages just because they paid money to be boosted. Once that is done and we have found and settled into our spaces, that is where the good interactions come out.

    Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it’s a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and continually encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.

    • velma@sh.itjust.works
      1·
      8 days ago

      Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it’s a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.

      Well said. You’re right - the root of the problem is that the users here are predominately male and that then influences the tone of the space. Without conscious effort it is easy to allow misogyny to flourish.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
          0·
          7 days ago

          You’re ignoring how many women, femmes, trans, enbies, and POC are on Reddit.

          Reddit’s population size is going to naturally make it way more diverse than Lemmy for a long time still.

          • CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world
            1·
            7 days ago

            Not ignoring. They have a larger audience, but I felt the general community was more welcomed, and openly themselves here edit: in non-specialized subs.

            • velma@sh.itjust.works
              0·
              7 days ago

              Ah, there were quite a few great subreddits I was involved in that were incredibly diverse and friendly. I miss those spaces, though I’ve found a couple of communities on Lemmy with similar feel.

              I’ve found Lemmy quite harsh and exclusionary for women, so maybe my experience has just been different than yours.

                • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
                  0·
                  7 days ago

                  The only thing I miss about Reddit was a secret women’s only sub that you could only access by invitation. At one point I got invited and, my god, it was an amazing little space. I posted things there that would’ve been flooded by pervs if I’d posted them on the mainstream site. Like a picture of someone floating in bliss and saying something like, “How my boobs feel when I go swimming.”

                  The Women Only community here is good, but I really wish it were more private. Although I haven’t seen as many guys getting weird about comments from my perspective on Lemmy as I did on Reddit, it would be wonderful to have an actual private space where we didn’t have to worry about guys coming in, not reading the rules, and commenting anyway.

    • tigermountain@lemmy.world
      0·
      7 days ago

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I just don’t understand misogyny. I absolutely love everything about women.