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How about being above average intelligence, but get placed in below average classes because one child study team person decided you had “auditory” problems while you were in kindergarten? I recently found out that my highschool guidance counselors lied about my placement tests and I should have been in honors science instead of remedial.
Having a high intelligence level shouldn’t mean you owe anybody to ‘make it big’, regardless of what that means.
The only people calling everyone out for this were Always going to be failures.
Obviously yeah, my injury is addiction. Any further questions
Imho the gifted program is where you send smart kids to lose their social skills.
I don’t think it’s the gifted classes doing that, it’s more helicopter parents forcing there kids to spend all there time after school studying or with tutors etc. Instead of hanging out or engaging in more social after school activities like sports.
You can be just as social in a gifted class as a regular class, you can’t be as social at mathnasium as playing soccer.
IDK about that, the gifted kids at my school seemed to have their shit together the most out of all of us and always seemed like the adults in the room. I don’t know what they were getting that the rest of us didn’t but I sure could have used some of it… I always felt like I was missing things that came so easily to them.
It’s not even smart kids, it’s usually just average kids who have overly involved parents doing most of the work for them.
The majority of “gifted” programs just double the workload and run half a grade ahead.
I’d never put my kid on one even if they were actually smart because separating them out and endlessly bullshitting them about the future just creates raging narcissists with self-esteem issues.
Not every gift program separates them out.
Not every gifted program integrates, it’s obvious I’m talking about the ones that do separate.
Not everyone knows that there are integrated programs. Integrated programs are new. Most people’s experience would be with a segregated group. Nothing in your comment suggests that you knew there were integrated programs.
It was not obvious that you knew this. If you said, “I’d only put them in an integrated program” and not “I’d never put them in one” that would have made it obvious.
You’d think it would be obvious that I’m talking about the programs that separate kids out by saying “they separate kids out.”
There are programs that don’t do that, cool, I’m obviously not talking about that.
Obviously, I did not think that. You can read that as all programs and not some programs. Obviously.
Bro your reading comprehension is cooked
Be burned out is more like trying to run a life long marathon at 125%, it works find in the start but at some point the body needs to recover.
White/Asian Kid’s Elders: “I don’t understand brain plasticity, so I’m going to assume the speed with which my child learns things proves they’re a genius”
Other POC Kids Elders: “I don’t understand brain plasticity, so I’m just going to hold my kids close and hope what they’re rapidly learning doesn’t get them killed.”
I was that asian kid and I can assure you this knowledge (or even the word neuroplasticity) is not as pervasive as many believe it to be
I more mean to say that the idea of “intelligence” is treated very differently in first class and second class citizenry.
It’s an asset to be celebrated when your background qualifies you to join elite circles. It’s a liability to be managed when you’re confined to drudge work.
Yep, just go to Appalachia, you’ll see the same mindset.
Truth is, most kids who are gifted in school grow up to be perfectly average.
most kids level off at 10
because as you grow up your cohort pool gets bigger an bigger and more elite.
being a big fish in a tiny pond doesn’t mean you’re a big fish in the ocean. in the Ocean there are Tuna 100x as big as you and even bigger predators.
Perfectly average is a pretty hard target to hit. Where do you start taking the measurement from, and do you include the curvature, or just a straight line measurement? And do you have to hit maximum before measuring, or do we take an average of your measurements?
just pull it from the economic stats of your country/state/city.
however most people live in bubbles are are largely concerned about how they are doing to their neighbors, friends, and work colleagues. so if you make 400K a year but steve two desks over makes 550K a year, you feel like you’re below average and failing at life.
Yeah, but like, how do you measure steve? Do you ask him nicely first, or are you doing it all incognito like? And you need to standardize the measurements somehow. Do you ask the same person to do the measuring? How is that going to work when you need to poll across a large section to be sure you’re perfectly average?
because Steve is probably constantly bragging about how much money they have.
rich people love nothing more at social events than to brag about how much money they are spending/making.
look dude, the stats are out there. google them. it takes a few seconds to look up labor data, homeprices, wage data, etc.
the key is to stop agonizing about what could have been or should be. accept what you are.
Yeah, but steve, and most of the others, are self-reporting. Can you really trust those numbers? Unless you get your hands dirty and put the ruler up there yourself, how can you be certain? You’ve got to be certain here. Maybe it’s not six, maybe it’s only five and three quarters.
Most of these kinds of people as adults just didn’t realize that as they got older they actually had to try, that intelligence and skill aren’t inherent and is something you actually have to put effort into.
I was gifted enough to eventually figure out I was a dumb ass.
Socrates, is that you?
No, but he sure is dumb enough to think he is
Ouch that’s a lot of damage.
It’s more describing how I’m decaying while still alive
There’s a lot of comments in here addressing the social skill reduction, as if those kids in gifted programs (hello, fellow former gifted kids) didn’t still socialize with their peers in just about every other aspect.
Even the kids in ‘charter school programs’ here were just separated from a group of 400 to a group of 50 or so kids for half or so of the day and then the rest of the stuff they attended classes with the other 350 kids. Even if they were completely separated off, they still have peers (admittedly, also ‘gifted’ peers).
Ignoring that portion, and you’ve still got the fact that you MUST challenge a child while developing. If I didn’t get put in the ‘gifted’ track, I’d have goofed off even more and paid even less attention. NONE of my peers had their parents doing their homework (like some commentera have put), we just finally had homework we couldn’t do on our own on the bus ride home. If you don’t challenge a child’s mind, they can’t grow. And people who think every kid learns at the same pace, and that learning slower than the pace your brain can handle has no negative side effects, have no idea what they’re talking about and should look into child development as a focus of psychology and come back to this comment thread.
most of the comments here are just self-victimization in the form of ‘could have been’.
which is precisely the premise of the OG post. People are just pouring their delusions into this being like ‘no but that doesn’t apply to me!! i truly was gifted and special!!’
I don’t know… hard for me to understand any of this. I was not a gifted kid. I was smart and hard working. Most ‘gifted’ people I have met are just… lazy jerks who refuse to grow up and take responsibility for their choices… but LOVE to go on and on about how everything is their parents/teachers fault and how their perfectly decent life would have been so much ‘better’ and they’d be the next Bill Gates/Zuckerberg/Musk if some math teacher had been less mean to them as a pre teen.
It’s true and like 80% of people on Reddit and Lemmy think they’re gifted kids who just were too lazy/neurotic/something or other to properly use their natural talent or intelligence.
Lazy intellectuals™
I think what you are referring to is neurodivergent people. Many of which are now aware of said neurodivergence that they didn’t know about as a “gifted kid”.
They aren’t though. They are just jerks looking for an excuse for themselves. Typical stats on ADHD are like 10% at best.
Only 23% of the USA population has any mental problems or disorders… they just over represent themselves tremendously on social media and most everyone who claims to have these issues is ‘self diagnosed’ which is about as reliable a diagnosis as them claiming they are excellent drivers or how they could have been pro sports players. Oh and everyone loves to diagnose all their exes/friends too as having mental problems because they were mean to them or did stupid shit.
Truth is most people are incredibly delusional about themselves. I live in a city full of people making six figures who love to tell you how they are financially struggling and life is cruel and unfair, when objectively they are living amazing lives. They are just insanely bitter aren’t famous, fabulously wealthy, or social media influencers.
But if you confront them with this reality… they will HATE you.
Jesus, everyone wants on the ADHD/autistic train, needs to be “special”. Every post on c/autism is about perfectly normal behaviors and quirks that affect most of us.
I think a lot of it is young people struggling with growing up, as we all do. They think everyone else is doing just fine and they’re the weird one. Motherfuckers need to watch The Breakfast Club, get a clue. We all struggled in much the same ways.
Hell, my first year of college saw me so mixed up I felt like I was going through puberty again, but I recognized that it was merely another phase in life. Happened again in my late 20s. LOL, thought I was cursed to flip out every 10 years. Never happened again thank fucking god.
tbf, improper diets and insufficient medical care, general social isolation made worse by an intentional housing “crisis” that is destroying communities, (and stress itself, exacerbated by those things and job insecurity) can all trigger latent risk anyone might have for X mental Illness…the US is a very sick place, in more ways than one.
us apes are social creatures, we need proper social interaction in order to not go fucking crazy…and right now we have tech/media companies (and governments) all fighting for control over what digital bubbles they want to keep their populations isolated in…and so far they’re winning
Do you think that percentage is correct given the lack of medical access most Americans experience and the phobia they have of what will be denied to them if diagnosed?
Or just millennials and some of gen Z. We all grew up being told constantly that we were special and gifted, could do anything we wanted if we put our mind to it.
Accepting that we’re actually just another nameless joe-dipshit in an ocean of millions of people that could easily replace us without causing even so much as a hiccup to society… was a hard pill for a lot of us to swallow.
Nowadays I thought “gifted kid” was just a sarcastic way to describe most of us: average at best.
Oh I made it, I make more than a lot of my peers in highschool, not all of them, but I make a good wage. But I fucking hate the dev industry man. I was unemployed for 3 months and I got so much done. Agile methodology sucks the soul out of me, I don’t have anything left for my personal projects. It’s micromanagement incarnate. Oh you had two bad dev cycles in a row? Guess it’s time for a PIP. Oh you had to step away for an errand a few times this dev cycle? Let’s not make it a habit, even though all your work is done. Oh you have mutiple 2 hour meetings to attend and we still label you had full capacity meaning you have to figure out how to do 8 days of dev work in almost half that time. I’m so fucking tired of it.
It’s also full of boot lickers. Had people on my team that were like “oh I’ll just work this weekend to make the deadline” and I’m like why. They made the deadline even though we told them it was too aggressive. You don’t get paid more for hitting it or for putting more hours in. Stop enabling them and devaluing labor.
they have no value in their lives other than work. tons of people out this in many industries.
they have no hobbies, no passions, and their friendships are typically shallow competitions of materialism and titles.
One of the guys I used to work with that was like that seems to have other hobbies. He likes riding his bike and learning guitar, playing video games, traveling Europe. But he’ll also just work though a weekend or on his vacation. I don’t get it.
Ugh god don’t get me started on that, it’s literally ingrained in the work cutlure that getting the work done is more important than following the labor laws. I have gotten in trouble for not attending “”“optional”" meetings out of work hours.
Everyone bends and breaks the law in the employer’s favor but the minute you don’t it’s considered a personal insult to your boss.
Bro… As someone who felt this and is happier making less… Consider state govt tech roles.
You’ll have more relevant experience than your peers, there’s no ‘cycle’ to speak of…
Not even my team, got quoted like 200K on a Drupal upgrade.
I was like “guys I have upgraded about 400 Drupal sites exactly like this it takes 3 hours max.”
Hero.
That team keeps asking me questions and my boss is protective of it. “Email him and schedule time, stop wasting my teams time.” Essentially letting me fuck off.
Yeah I make less. But I have enough time to literally take on anything. Started self hosting, exercising, building a small business…
Dev industry blows so hard.
Yeah I actually have friends who work for my city, I told them to let me know if positions open up, but the other issue is that city jobs are so good that no one leaves lol. I’m looking to switch to sys admin work because I have a background in that, I’m hoping to get my base level cert in that this year.
