“Your wife didn’t have enough meat on her bones, bring in your eldest child on Monday.”

-Corporate

Not true, we tried to rinse you out multiple times.

“You can have the funeral in the alley behind the restaurant during lunch. Throw your wife in the dumpster after you’re done.”

-Your manager

All of it is about control, it has nothing to do with logic. If you understand this, fighting these idiots becomes much easier. You’re not dealing with reasonable adults, you’re dealing with a bunch of giant upset babies that don’t want to get sent to their room.

Random Kid: W…w… We were just shooting spit balls! It’s just a straw, please!

ED-209: WEAPON CONFIRMED, ARMING RAIL GUN.

kid reduced to fine red mist

ED-209: TARGET NEUTRALIZED. STATE IF PARENTS SHOULD BE NOTIFIED THROUGH TEXT.

no response

ED-209: VERY WELL, ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR SCHOOL DAY.

drone flies off

How much money would be needed to build an open source linux phone from the ground up?

I’m all for linux, I miss the market before iPhone domination. Weird ass symbian phones, windows phones, nokia taco phones, there was all sorts of stuff. I wish we could have a market like that with lots of diverse phones that all run different operating systems. I also wish we could step away from app stores and we could just start building websites again, phones are fast enough now

He’d probably goose step straight into Poland if he had the stamina

I’m over at the next train stop selling underpants and fur suits. Use the code #trainpissorgy to for a 30 percent discount.