you fail to understand that people can have very real and ernest friendships that are different from your presuppositions around friendship

What makes you think that? It’s nice if you don’t put on a front in different social settings, but many people absolutely do. Which in itself I find completely understandable. We are social animals and deeply dependent on being accepted and loved, and society certainly doesn’t hold back with expectations, which most of us then try to meet in one way or another.

I tend to not talk about myself that much anyway (I also have a therapist, which may contribute to my not feeling like I need to), and when I’m with friends who do, I mostly listen

If that’s what you prefer more power to you, just would be tragic if you did so because you felt pressured into it.

And it just so happens that society does put the expectation on men especially not to overshare, to rarely show vulnerability if at all, to be strong for others, to silently endure.

That doesn’t mean men who adhere to those expectations can’t legitimately have fun with their friends (or even feel like that’s all they want from friendships).

And maybe you are 100% capable of chosing how open and trusting you are, devoid of all social expectations, I don’t know you. Maybe you just so happen to arrive at a set of behaviours that match what society wants and expects from men. If not, this is something that we as a society have taken away and in a way continue to withhold from you. And that would indeed be sad, just because of how unfair that would be. It certainly is for the many people out there who are in fact incapable of this other kind of friendship (e.g. where you assign value to your feelings and experiences and want to share them) - not by an informed choice, but through subtle social pressure. That’s what I meant originally.

When I am with a gal friend a kinda switch gears

Doesn’t that make you stop and think? Why is it necessary to swich gears at all? I mean what’s actually your authentic self and why is he not allowed in (at least?) one of those situations?

Damn that’s sad

Yeah, the native functions works for most apps, but not discord unfortunately. But thanks alot for looking around! Will try your solution when I get back home tonight.

I’m using mint with cinnamon.

I did try to look for a solution online, found other annoyed users with the same problem and no solution, and kinda gave up tbh.

Maybe I do have to switch at least the DE in order to solve this, but at the end of the day it’s really just a small annoyance.

The problem is that discord forces itself in front of every other window I currently use on the main monitor, twice, while it starts and auto updates. Manually dragging it away once it’s open is the smaller annoyance compared to the distraction of having to switch back to my other application two times in a row. And I guess the only solution would be for it to start on the secondary monitor in the first place, so it could go and take center stage where it doesn’t annoy and distract me.

JS paint, open in browser, no install required :)

It’s a perfect clone of oldschool ms paint.

Sounds really useful. I guess there’s no equivalent on mint though? Tried to search for one just now, but then again I’m still a noob and could be looking for the wrong thing.

Still, not the first time I’ve heard about the superiority of KDE plasma. Thanks for sharing.

I can’t for the life of me get discord to start on my secondary monitor.

But eh, you get used to it.

Lol alright. Thanks. Thought it might be a term for something specific

Okay not at all what this is about, but what is a white widow? If you don’t mind explaining. Looking that up brought me to a particularly strong strain of weed and a british terrorist.

How do you expect me to join a revolution when I’m lying in bed, too depressed to move?

Being able to “cope”, or survive, within horrible circumstances isn’t oppressive. Oftentimes it’s absolutely necessary to even begin to change your circumstances for the better. The alternative is unnecessarily cruel and to be clear helps absolutely zero with the status quo.