I actually loved my Kin Twom. Didn’t require a data plan, had a decent camera, was a joy to text on.

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Yeah, I can confirm that that email was part of the release on house.gov. HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_030716 in the zip archive here: https://oversight.house.gov/release/oversight-committee-releases-additional-epstein-estate-documents/

I kept reading it as NFT-able firewalls and could not for the life of me figure out what that would entail.

That box is suspiciously similar to the laptop I leave at my parents for when I visit. The mouse and keyboard even look identical!