Or gravy!

When I first started cooking I used to burn the rice all the time and I had to throw it all away. Then one day I had dinner at a Persian restaurant and they brought me some of the charred rice (called “tahdig”) as a special treat. It was a real eye-opener (tongue-opener?) because that shit is incredibly delicious. They regretted serving it to me because I started begging for it every time I went, which is apparently a rather rude thing to do.

Korean dol sat bibim bap is similar. It’s a dish served in a massively hot stone bowl with the rice on the bottom, and the longer you let it sit there before mixing everything together, the more the rice chars and the better it tastes. It’s almost crazy how much charred rice is not a thing in world cuisines when it’s actually incredibly delicious.

Trump supporters are committed to licking that boot. They’ll take whatever he tosses at them and pretend it’s gulab jamun.

Can also be used if you agree with former Bengals QB Boomer Esiason.

We can’t accept drum and bass. We need jungle, I’m afraid.

“What is an Imagine Dragon, anyway?”
“Imagine Dragon deez nutz across your face.”

I shave my head. I have to shave it every two or three days or I look like a mangy old dog. I wait until just before I go to bed to shave it, at which point I’m too tired and I tell myself I’ll do it in the morning before work, which of course I never do. So I end up shaving it once every three weeks, and spend most of the time looking like a mangy old dog.

I eventually hit upon the strategy of shaving a small patch somewhere on my head before I go to bed, which forces me to do the rest of the job in the morning before work. Except that I usually forget I did that and often go to work looking like a mangy old dog that somebody tried to shave before giving up. Fortunately I’m a school bus driver so I only scare children.

I used to bike to work when I lived in Louisiana. It was fortunate that my office was a block from the YMCA, so I could shower and change after my ride in. The downside was that the Y was the hangout of the fat old white men who worked at the courthouse and liked to lounge around naked on the couches in the locker room, laughing and making jokes about sending black men to Angola prison for decades for crimes they probably didn’t commit (these were judges, prosecutors and public defenders talking about this shit).

I had a few years where I rode the train from a stop a mile from my house to a station literally in the basement of the building I worked in. A 55 minute ride where I could read peacefully or nap, absolute heaven. I didn’t even like moving to WFH because I missed the restaurants in the city.

They’re talking about Sleep Token, aren’t they?

“Some say killin’s too good for him.”

Same shit, different assholes.

I shave my head year-round and I grow a long beard in the winter. I just can’t figure out how to handle the transition well. Like, here? Maybe here? Fade it? I dunno. A goatee solves the problem but nothing says bitter old dude like a baldheaded goatee.

As a man, my wolves are hairless and my crow has no feathers. The problem of what to do with my hair would be nice to have.

Orangutans are pretty chill.

I had the reverse happen with an ex-girlfriend’s two favorite bands, Death Cab For Cutie and The Decembrists. I fucking HATED that shit when I was with her and had to put so much effort into pretending to like it. A decade after we broke up I was all “wow, this is actually pretty good music”. Weird.

I haven’t been able to find this again, but there’s a short film that was made in England in 1946 that perfectly nailed how cell phones were going to work. There was even a man in a grocery store calling his wife at home to find out what ingredient he needed to pick up. The only difference was scale: the man was using a walkie-talkie, which despite the movie images of an officer using a device about 1’x4"x4", in fact also required a ginormous and heavy backpack thing lugged around by some misbegotten private.

BTW a fun fact: the word “ginormous” (a portmanteau word combining “gigantic” and “enormous”) dates to WWII or earlier. I’d always assumed it was valley-girl speak until I encountered it in a Battle of Britain memoir written by a pilot who was killed in 1942.

When I was in the 8th grade, I had a friend with two kids. TBF he had been held back for four years and should have been a senior in high school by that point, but it was still pretty unusual.

I was a camp counselor one summer and while processing a bus of arriving 7-year-olds one kid got off, pointed at me and said “if you give me any trouble, I’m gonna bite off your head and shit down your throat”. I couldn’t stop laughing.

I went to Lowe’s the other day and bought a couple of drill bits. While there, I looked at some cabinet pulls – didn’t buy any or even picked any up, just walked past them and looked at them. That night on Amazon I got ads for drill bits and cabinet pulls. I assume it was something linking store footage with my phone data, but who knows. Maybe I got the neural implant already and the implant makes you forget you got the implant.