I can’t smoke a pipe in my tweeds here! It would look ridiculous.

Keeping an eye on your goal leaves only one for the way.

It’s safe to assume that there will also be spiders

If you’re in Europe think about the heat.

They made me watch Woodstock footage.

You can’t use that word like that, this is the internet.

If you pay for the tickets I will come explain that you are 2nd place.

It’s time for Binface.

They get wasps from a temping agency to cover the evening rush.

If you want universal uptake, you need to be in the schools.

3 tabs will put you in the swirling, raw chaos of the unintelligible universe. Face of God stuff.

He did many things, killing wives was among them.

Attempting to annex Russia would end more than just election interference.

Just waiting for our Henry VIII moment.

The spinning jump kick of the law.

Stop right there! Or I won’t be able to jump kick you!

It’s also pretty gay. My army will be full of big, hairy, manly, men. Sweaty, manly, men. All dressed up the same and submissive to me.

If you can be afraid, you aren’t dead. If you’re dead, you can’t be afraid. Don’t waste your time.

I’m a donor (woe betide whoever gets anything from me) but I totally understand not being OK with it. This guy says we won’t need them, but that’s unknowable. Maybe there’s a bunch of donors at the gate not being let in until the rest of them gets there. But if ever you have a right to claim ownership over anything, it’s your body. Your organs aren’t collective property others have a right to. You fuck off, these are my organs is a totally reasonable position.

I suppose they’re letting you date their gf in this case.

Terry Pratchett stuff